Listen To Me
by samanddianefan10
Summary: Frasier reflects on his near jump experience from Cheers and realizes how blessed he really is. Partially set in Goodnight, Seattle


**A/N: The beginning of the story takes place during the last season of cheers when Lilith has left Frasier. It will flash forward to the final episode of Frasier.**

I am a man possessed. Standing on the brink of disaster, or more precisely, standing on the edge of a window three stories high, I am ready to end my life. Two words run through my mind. Just jump. For a few minutes that's all I keep thinking, despite the loudness of the police shouting at me. They wouldn't understand why I'm here. It's completely ironic. Usually I'm the one whom they call in cases like this. Now here I am on a ledge betting with my own life, not knowing who the winner will be by the end of the night. Oddly enough I'm not afraid to die. I'm scared to live. I'm scared to face the world which has so cruelly been yanked from me. My wife no longer wants to life as my wife any more; she has found her another man who she believes will complete her. She didn't say it but I think it's obvious; my own wife does not love me any more. What kind of man can live like that? I have so many things I want to say to her. When did she stop loving me? When did she start loving him? When did she decide that she wanted out of our marriage? And what would happen if we gave it one more try, knowing what we do? But alas, my Lilith has already made up her mind that she just wants to be free and make different choices for her life.

So I stand on the edge, waiting, hoping,, praying for some sweet relief from my pain. If jumping solves it then so be it. But maybe, just maybe, Lilith will come to her senses and she'll see what a fool she's been. Maybe she'll see how close she's come to losing the best man in her life that she will reevaluate her choices. This could be the wake-up call that we all need to get our family back together. I'm not crazy. This is a perfectly sound, logical plan. Perfect, No more time to reason .No more time to think. Time to act.

Ahhh, I see that my friends have shown up to support me. Rebecca and Carla have just snuck in the room and I warned them away, I really must thank them later. What's that. Cliff's yelling at me but I can't make him out very well. Good thing Sam took the megaphone from him. Sam has told me that he loves me. I do love him.I love my friends very much. But what good does it do to love when you know it can be taken from you in seconds? Love is a very fickle emotion. What is love? It is a powerful, encompassing, awesome, crippling force that leads even the most rational of people to take drastic actions. Lilith doesn't love me anymore. She's in love with someone else. That love has driven her to break up a once happy family and to leave behind her own child. If that's what love is I want no part of it. Love has brought me to the edge of this building where I may very well jump at any given time; Carla told me that I would find someone else to love. After that I headed up here. I don't want to love anyone else. I don't want to even love Lilith but I do. I can't turn off all of these feelings that I'm experiencing. God knows I've been trying to shut down and I just don't think that I can. I'm a human, not a robot.

All day long I listen to patients talk about their problems. And I give them good, sound advice. Sometimes they listen to me and things work out fine. Sometimes they disregard what I've said and then problems ensue.. But that's the nature of the business. I understand that. I don't blame myself for other people's lives going wrong. But I do blame myself for my own life taking this terribly dreadful turn. I talk to people all day long. How is it I've failed to communicate with my own wife? How did I not know that she was so unhappy? How could I have been so blind, I who pride myself on my observation skills? I had a wife who was miserable right in front of me and I was clueless.

The things that I define myself by are not as real as I thought they were. The family I had is no more. Love is not what I thought it was. Nothing in my world is what it was yesterday. I cannot go on living in this world. I just have to make it stop somehow. I have to make it go away so that I go back to being Dr, Frasier Crane, not the broken man that everyone sees and pities.

00000

Seattle, twelve years later

My brother and I were considering my move to Seattle all those years ago, and he commented on all that he would have missed out on. He looked over at his wife and newborn son. Ahh, the wonderous circle of life. And we both knew in that moment if I hadn't come to Seattle he wouldn't be experiencing those joys and I thought a little deeper than that. I thought about what might have happened had I not survived my trip to the ledge in Boston. And I think of what I would have missed out on. I might argue with my father, but I wouldn't trade a second of our time together for anything. He's left the house now, and it's just me, and I wish I could have captured somehow every one of our conversations. The time we spent together was time well spent indeed. Then there were the coffees with Niles. I learned so much about myself through them. We could always count on each other for brutal honesty, fastidiousness, loyalty, and on occasion, a good game of squash afterwards. In San Fransicso they will have coffee shops, but they will never have another Niles.

I survived my divorce from Lilith. If I had jumped I never would have learned how strong I would have been by moving on. I had to move to Seattle to find my peace, but I did it, and it was the healthiest dose of medicine this doctor has ever prescribed. I've had many failed relationships since then, but they've all taught me something too. I did experience the comfort of a woman, which, looking at Cliff and Paul, not every man is so lucky to do. So I can say that I've been blessed. And then there is David Crane…He will do this family proud. Dad never really got a chance to know Frederick here's a chance for a fresh start. This baby will be loved, that much is certain. And my son Frederick and I have a complex relationship. When he is with me he wants to spend all of his time with friends. It is quite difficult for me but I suppose that it is a normal trait. We do have to work on our relationship but I'm here to work on it and for that I'm eternally grateful. If I had died it would have affected my friends at Cheers. They were my family when I needed them the most. They were a fine group of people and I will never forget the times we shared. And I might have missed out on knowing Roz Doyle. She's become one of my closest friends, someone I can count on to make me laugh and to back me up. My life would be much emptier had I not met her.

I would have missed it all. In this moment I became convinced of divine intervention more than ever. Had I jumped that day like I had planned I would have missed out on twelve wonderful years, twelve years of my son's life, for that would have been unforgivable. Twelve years with friends, with family, rebuilding a relationship with my father and brother that I honestly never thought that I would ever have again. I changed careers, found a most fulfilling one in which I do get to help a wide range of listeners through the format of my job. I'm Frasier Crane…and I'm listening. Really, I am.


End file.
